Being a Christian Affects My Love Life


Question 17:
What are your spiritual beliefs and how do they impact your relationships/relationship status?

God is first and foremost in my life. My relationship with Him comes first. So you could say that my spiritual beliefs are very important to me. Christianity have different umbrellas, and I would not marry someone who is not under the same umbrella with me.

I realize that to some, that sounds harsh. To others, it sounds normal. Let me tell you my story.

I was born and baptized into the Roman Catholic church. That’s the traditional Filipino religion. I went to Catholic schools and did my First Confession and First Communion. My family stopped attending mass, but my 4th grade religion class teacher required us to bring the mass program as proof of our attendance. So I started going with my cousin’s grandmother on the other side of his family. I went to mass, got the program, learned how to be a good little girl in class, and sometimes learned Bible stories.

In my 4th grade class, I was the “lowest” class officer, all I did was pass out papers. One particular day stands out in my memory. The class officers were supposed to lead us in prayer, Scripture reading, and something else. Well, I wasn’t included because there weren’t enough parts to go around (lowest rung on the leader ladder, remember?). But the president didn’t know how to the find the Bible verse. Then the VP and the treasurer tried to help, to no avail. Finally, I went to help them (the teacher had stepped out).

I remember that Bible so clearly, laid open on the teacher’s desk in the front of the room. Our classmates were taking the time to whisper with each other while waiting for us to get our stuff together. When I went up to help, I had to teach the other officers how to find a Bible verse. Right there and then, even with my limited little girl understanding, I knew something was not right with this picture.

The class officers were the best good little boys and girls in the class, just as they taught us to be in religion class. But they didn’t even know how to find a verse in the Bible, which was taught to us in the same class! So what gives? Why, how did I pay enough attention to retain that particular skill?

Around the same time, my mom became a Christian. She started going to a different church with my sisters. Finally, I went along with them. I didn’t accept Christ as my Savior then, but I knew they were different. Not only did they know their way around the Bible, they expressed their love for God in very obvious and literal ways. Ever since, I grew up in the Christian church.

Looking back, I can say that the thing that bugged me when I was a little girl was the emptiness of the religious practices. We went to mass, prayed, and read the Scripture because we had to. We were going through the motions, but there was no real connection to God. Why did that bug me when I was only 9 or 10 years old?

In Bible college, my professor talked about being predisposed to Christianity. And I suppose I was. My family held faith in the Christian God. I was exposed to all the faith stuff since I was a baby. But I see God’s hand in my life, too. Just as I was questioning religion, my mom gets saved? She brings me to a radically different church that lived Church? C’mon. That’s not a coincidence.

When you find something real (or it finds you), you hold onto it. I’m not perfect. I get doubts, questions, and crises of faith. But I hold onto God. Which is why I wrote in Question 8 that my 1st top 5 important things in a mate is having the same core spiritual faith, values, and beliefs. Because it’s really very important.

To add to that, he needs to be the spiritual leader of our family. I also believe that he needs to be the head of the household. We get our panties in a twist because the Bible tells wives to submit to their husbands. But don’t forget that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church, giving up His life. That’s a major kind of love. Because Christ didn’t just die for His Church, He redeemed her. He made a way for her to connect to the Father. He revolutionized the world for her. To be loved that way…wow.

And another reason why my relationship status continues to be single, not dating (also see Question 1). God is love. He doesn’t just know about it. He isn’t just an expert. He is love. Therefore, He can provide for me a far better romantic relationship, a far superior love story, than I can provide for myself.

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