Friendly or “Friendly”

I am socially awkward. I really believe that. Oh I can hack it. I can make myself be more outgoing. I can up the ante of excitement and openness. I know how to execute social graces. Because I’ve been trained. In school, in clubs, in church, I learned how to hack myself in social situations so I won’t be as…well, awkward.

There is one situation, however, that I can’t hack. Every single time, I walk away embarrassed or rattled or worse, unsure. I hate that “what just happened?” feeling, and it happens every. single. time in social situations with the single opposite sex.

Alright, I’m not that naive. I pick up the obvious cues when mr. single tries to establish more than just a friendship with me. But I can’t always differentiate a friendly gesture from a “friendly” gesture. You know the one. He does something for you that any friend would do except his gesture feels…weighted.

That happened recently and I’m not sure how to proceed. Was it a friendly gesture or a “friendly” gesture? Because the week before, there was a “friendly” gesture. Does it follow then that this week’s friendly gesture is actually a “friendly” gesture?


Truth is, I try to let most of it slide…even if it’s awkwardly sliding. You know, maybe pretend nothing happened. Shrug it off. Shake my head with a smile-grimace hybrid and say, “Uh, no, that’s okay.”

I really need to learn how to say no gracefully! It’s just that in these situations, I feel a bit attacked. Like someone is climbing my tower before I’m ready, but I don’t want to cut off their rope. What if they get hurt?

So, do I yell down and say, “Yo! Stop trying. You ain’t got a chance.”

Or maybe I just hit them over the head with a frying pan for daring to come inside.

Metaphor taken too far?

Anyway, that’s when I remember this:

Song of Songs

When I first read that, it was like a balm for all the times I’ve been made fun of for not dating, for dreaming of prince charming, for wanting more than what my peers offered me, and for believing I deserve more than, “Duuude, my friend wants to know your number.”

And today, it’s a promise from God that one day, love will be ready for me. He will ready it for me. And before that, I don’t have to settle for what I or others can conjure up.

My 2014 One Word is Ready. Ready for what God will do. It’s a blessed anticipation and moving forward on His call, not a go-ahead to do things my way or according to society’s expectations.

So to my single ladies, it’s time to give up our #singlegirlproblems to God. It’s time to stop waking up love before it’s ready. It’s time to desire God’s best.

Say this with me. I promise to want more than what the world offers because God offers the best. #singlegirlsolutions (click to tweet)

I promise that to myself, to you, and to God. But I can’t promise to stop being awkward. How do you handle unwanted “friendly” gestures? Any tips for this awkward introvert? I kinda need it 🙂


Linking up today with The Single Life

1 thought on “Friendly or “Friendly”

  1. I can totally relate to this. All of it. I feel awkward in a lot of social situations, but male-female relations can be the worst. I even have been in a similar situation. Mine lasted for 3 months because even when I told him “no” he wouldn’t go away.

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