My Two Steps Back

“I really don’t want to miss school,” is what my friend said when we all looked at our schedules to plan a trip. She’s a planner, organized and creative. Watching her live her life makes me want to buy calendars, storage containers, and Post-it notes. She’s focused and determined, but I know that there were moments when she was uncertain and doubtful of what’s next. Still, she keeps going.

My best friend celebrated her first year anniversary of marriage last month. They’re putting off having a baby because she plans on going back to school.

New jobs, new seasons, and new plans, I look at my friends and at first, I wondered why my life isn’t moving forward. Don’t we all fall into the comparison trap? But if we just spend a little bit more time together in honest and open conversation, we will realize that we’re all taking one step forward and two steps back. The key is to keep taking that one step forward.

[bctt tweet=”Keep taking that one step forward. #persevere #progress”]

So I’m back in school. That’s my two steps back, but maybe, just maybe, it will help me move forward.

Four years ago, I returned to school to get an AA in Psychology. I was two classes away. I took and passed one class, but the other was full. Then family matters sprung up. All this time, I was one class away from an AA degree that means squat in Psychology, but it’s hanging over my head.

My brother was in high school at the time and now he’s in college. He’s been hounding me to take that final class, but I was never motivated or inspired. It just seems like taking a giant leap backwards to go back to school. And for what? A degree that doesn’t really matter?

I had this idea of where I should be in life at a certain age, but when it didn’t happen, I felt defeated. When I started to rise again and take more steps forward, suddenly, to take a step back was just wasting my time. I had other things to focus on.

There’s always an excuse, isn’t there? Plus I don’t really know why I can’t let that one class go. I’ve let go of a lot of things. Opportunities missed that I don’t really care I missed. There were doors I shut that I want to remain shut. But this class keeps hovering, and my friend inspired me to just go for it.

So the class is full this semester. Ha! I waited too long and the professor didn’t accept anyone on the waitlist, but there’s summer or fall. This semester, I’m taking a business class because I have a business, but have no head for business. One step forward, two steps back.

I wonder if that’s the theme of my 2016, two steps back. I pray to God it’s not, but I’m trying to embrace it. I’m trying to see it as taking a U-turn so I can get on the right track instead of hitting a dead end. Progress.

They say hindsight is 20/20, so what about you? Have you taken two steps back that actually propelled you forward? Can you tell me about it? I just might hoard your stories to inspire me to keep going.

 

Linking up today with Holley’s Coffee for Your Heart.

4 thoughts on “My Two Steps Back

  1. Hey I am your neighbor at Coffee For Your Heart! I had your page up all night and was just now able to comment but wow. I was definitely supposed to read this. We are in a really weird (but blessed) season where we felt we were supposed to pull out of the church we have attended for a year and half and go back and do the last thing we knew God had said to do, because I hadn’t had peace and couldn’t stop thinking about what God said to me before we (ran away like Jonah sort of!!) It’s a long story and God is leading me to write about the mistakes and journey I believe. And even as I write this, this very morning I had a convo with my husband about a situation from the past that has came into our life that I thought was long gone and over with but is confronting me now, and we are praying what God wants us to do. May sound confusing without giving all the details, but I am saying this because the theme of your blog post parallels with my story almost. “Go back to move forward” it even speaks volumes as far as me writing about these things so I can hopefully receive healing through the writing process. Us writers have different minds, different personalities – some people tell me I over think and to “let it go” but God knows I need to process the things that have happened and if I need to go back to move forward then so be it. He knows it all anyways!! I am so encouraged by your post because I actually started school a few years ago and life got crazy and I stopped as well….I have been praying for direction and when I see other people who are unsure but step out in faith anyways – it inspires me to feel like I can make a jump too – like Joyce Meyer says, Do it Afraid. I pray God gives you wisdom, insight and favor and leads you along His paths. Thanks for sharing and I hope to read more from you 🙂 – Meghan W. // http://www.cookwipesweep.com

    1. Hi Meghan, thanks for stopping by! I’m so happy that my words can help you somehow. It’s so tough to see how going back can help us move forward, but God knows best. I hope you find peace as you follow whatever direction God is telling you to go.

  2. Absolutely ! I have been a nurse in the making since I was 17. I am now 37. I had children and they became a priority. I am going back to school as well, but baby steps. I like how you said we compare, because as women we do. I took this semester off, although I should move ahead, I suppose that was my two steps back !Our family word is perseverance. The important thing is to keep moving forward. We want now and instant results, but progress takes time. Thank you for your sweet honesty. Keep going ( and I will too) , one day you will reach that goal. Not to be where other women are , but to be where God wants you. You encouraged me, thank you ! God Bless you dear lady 🙂

    1. Danielle, I have to remember that progress takes time, and that our idea of time is different from God’s. It’s far better to move with His timing than ours. Thanks for visiting!

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