I think I’m Different


Question 26:
Name a song that makes you cry every time you hear it and why

I can’t think of that song actually, the one that makes me cry every. single. time. But there is one song that always touches my heart, soul, and spirit every time I hear it. And I mean every. single. time. It’s “Redeemer” by Nicole C. Mullen. Not only does she sing so beautifully, but the lyrics are blessed. They remind me of the character of God, what Jesus did on the cross for us, and how much He loves us. Would you take a moment to listen to it?

Question 27:
Talk about something that you really, really, really love about yourself.

I love that I’m different. I really really really love that I’m different.

We’re all unique. We’re all created fearfully and wonderfully and gifted in accordance to God’s purpose and design.

And I think that if planted somewhere else, I would be surrounded by a lot of similar people. But where God placed me, the family He gave me into, the friends He surrounded me with, the church, the ministry, the people, the city…I’m different. It’s not just the growing up phase where we all feel different.

When American Idol first came out, several young people from church and I were watching an episode together. This girl came out of an audition rejected by the judges. And she said something along the lines of, “I know that I’m meant to sing for God. I’m going to use my talent for Him.”

All of my friends cheered her on, but I said something like, “What!?!? After she’s been rejected by the world, now she knows she’s supposed to use her talent for God???”

And I didn’t mean to, but my reaction shut my friends up. And nobody said a thing. Briefly I thought that, perhaps I was a little too harsh. A little too judgmental. But I knew I was right in some level. In hindsight, I know now that we all have a journey to go through. We all learn similar lessons, but we learn them differently. But that moment showed me that…uh-oh, I think I’m different.

And I was.

My grandmother once told me that some grandmas from church were planning on who to play cupid with next. They picked me. But my grandmother told them to leave me alone. “She has a mind of her own.” A friend gave me a card with the same sentiments.

Up to this day, I think differently. Like with my views on singleness and dating. That’s different. Some ways I view faith and life and ministry are different. Sometimes my prayers are different.

But actually, they’re not so different!

They’re pretty similar with other people, just not – it seems – with the people around me. And that’s not always easy. When growing up, I wanted to fit in, I didn’t. When I was so awkward and weird and nobody got me. That was yesterday. I’m that adult in children’s ministry that acts like a child. The woman who’s still a girl. The dreamer that gets some things done and other things not. And yet….

I love love love that God created me unique and different and fearfully and wonderfully. I’m grateful to have come to love who and how He made me. I’m still growing as a person and as His daughter, but I know the person He created me and I have an idea – as long as I keep following Him – of the person He’s molding me to be. So today I refuse to let other people shame who and how I am made, but I’m open to the ways God is changing parts of me, my character and attitudes.

You, too, are fearfully and wonderfully and uniquely and differently made. Don’t let people shame the creation God made, but be open to how He wants to mold you!

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