20 Things I Learned in my 20s

Guess what. I turn 30 today 🙂 and I thought it might be fun to share with you 20 things I learned in my 20s, in no particular order except for #1. Here goes:

1. Own your faith
Of all the life lessons I’ve learned so far, this would be the most important. I think when I was younger, a big part of my faith depended on other people, on the family and community I found at church. But – although I fully believe we need the fellowship of believers – at the end of the day (and the end of our lives), everything boils down to our own relationship with God. I will face God alone to sort out what I did with this life He gave me, and I don’t want to say I failed to do something because of other people. Like I failed to go to a mission trip because someone told me I shouldn’t. Or like I stopped reading my Bible because I was angry with people at church. Going into my 30s and the rest of my life, I want to own my faith. That means I’m going to be more selfish about my relationship with God, to put Him and our relationship first. My prayer is to have a faith unshaken by people or circumstances.

2. Knitting
I learned to knit in my 20s, but I haven’t advanced much skill-wise. I’ve knitted scarves, hats, baby blankets, an afghan, and wrist warmers. Oh and a vest that was too ugly to wear.

3. Formal dancing
I took these dance classes in my 20s: Jazz, Modern, Ballet, and Social Dance/Ballroom.

4. Tae Kwon Do
I took Tae Kwon Do and self-defense classes in my 20s, and reached a purple belt. I became more aware about my safety as I ventured out on my own more and more. God protects us, but He also gave us wisdom so we can be proactive in our safety.

5. Laundry rules
Some laundry rules I learned the hard way: If you don’t wash jeans before wearing them, they will stain your shoes and socks; If you don’t separate your whites, they will fade faster. Melted chocolate is a hard stain to remove even if you wash your sweater right away. And it’s a waste of chocolate.

6. When I’m stressed, I get a tick and white hair.
It’s important to know how our bodies tell us we’re stressed before it shuts down in the form of us being too sick to function.

7. There’s a difference between having alone time and isolating myself.
As an introvert, I need to spend time in solitude, but I realized that there are times when I was just isolating myself out of hurt or anger. I was hiding behind my introversion when what I needed was a friend to talk to.

8. When in doubt, don’t check out.
I turned to shopping to avoid dealing with issues, and I had to learn how to control my spending habits. After facing my actual problems, I had to break the habit and I first did that by saying, “When in doubt, don’t check out” over and over in my head. I asked myself if I needed the item or wanted it. I forced myself to calculate my finances right there in the store’s aisle because math tires me out so I usually throw up my hands and walk away.

9. Staying in an unhappy situation is not worth the health risk.
I’ve learned to just walk away. I went through depression in my 20s, and it taught me to think about my overall health. I’ve always been a sick child, but it was mostly because of my asthma. Our health isn’t only physical, however. If we’re suffering emotionally or mentally or even spiritually, we can be affected physically. We need to consider our overall health. To do that, I don’t stay in an unhappy, stressful, no relief situations. It’s not worth getting sick over. It’s not worth falling back into depression over.

10. Dress for your body and nobody else.
I gained 30 pounds in my 20s because of depression, and lost it in the past handful of years as I started to heal. There was a lot of wardrobe adjustments. Even my shoe size changed. I learned to (first) love the body I have no matter its size, and (two) dress for my body. It’s fun to find inspiration from magazines, runway shows, and Pinterest. But at the end of the day, we need to take a good look at our bodies and figure out what works for us. If the latest fashion fad doesn’t work out, don’t sweat it. It doesn’t matter. Nothing’s wrong with us or our bodies. We’re beautiful.

11. Drink A LOT of water.
Just this past year, I started drinking 3 liters of water a day. Well, I try to. Depending on how dehydrated I am, I could finish 3 liters in a 24 to 48 hour period. I’ve lost 10 pounds. I didn’t expect that. I started drinking a lot of water in an attempt to be healthier, to shed that 30-pound weight gain. I did, and lost 10 more. I’m not a nutritionist, however, so don’t take this as advice. It’s just something I learned about myself. Drinking more water has also helped minimize my breakouts and junk food cravings.

12. When your heart is heavy, it’s hard to smile.
So when I catch myself frowning more or walking around in anger, I take a step back and look at what’s weighing down my heart or spirit.

13. Fight for your convictions.
It’s not always easy to stand up for what you believe, and often times, you’d feel alone where you stand, but don’t give up fighting for your convictions. I learned that giving up and giving in is a fast road to regret.

14. Birthday Freebies
I found out that there are a lot of companies that offer birthday freebies, and it’s worth signing up with them especially if you have Gmail because there’s a “Promotions” tab that sorts out the mass mailings. Here are some that you should check out: IHOP (you get 2 free yearly: on your sign-up anniversary & on your bday), Red Robin, Pasta Pomodoro, Starbucks (just register any of your Starbucks gift card), Nothing Bundt Cakes (if there’s a branch near you), Sephora (free makeup), and Ulta (free makeup this year).

15. When it comes to makeup, blend, blend, blend.
I learned how to do my own makeup in my 20s, and I started with MAC, moved to other high-end makeup, and now use some drugstore makeup. To their credit, a lot of drugstore makeup nowadays have comparable quality to high-end makeup. If I learned anything about makeup, it’s to love myself in my own naked skin first. That’s beautiful too.

16. God never leaves me nor forsakes me. He wrote me a story.
For a while, I felt like God was silent. But He wasn’t. There was too much noise in my life and I had to tune out the world and the pain to hear Him. I learned that it’s easy to get lost in the mess, but it doesn’t mean I’m alone. In my 20s, I’ve really learned that God is with me, and that I am part of His story. I don’t see the whole picture all at once, but I can trust God.

17. Being single and not dating is a legitimate choice.
Not just because God impressed in my heart to give my singleness to Him (as an act of faith), but also because I wasn’t ready. Because there’s more I can do as a single person. Because I want to sort myself out first. Because…many reasons. There’s nothing wrong with me.

18. I am an INFP and my love language is food and diamonds.
Kidding. My love language is quality time and gifts (although one might argue that food is like quality time and diamonds are gifts ;-)). In my 20s, I’ve learned how to understand myself. A lot of self assessments/tests like the Myers-Briggs and Love Languages helped give insight and adjectives to the whys of who I am.

19. I am a writer.
‘Nuff said. Yeah, okay, I have to keep telling myself that, over and over and over. And I haven’t quite been able to shout it from the rooftops, but I’m learning to own it.

“If you find yourself asking yourself (and your friends) ‘Am I really a writer? Am I really an artist?’ Chances are you are. The counterfeit innovator is wildly self-confident. The real one is scared to death” Steven Pressfield The War of Art.

20. I am unfinished, and for that I need to forgive myself.
I had this idea that by the time I reached 30 years old, I would have a settled life. Married. Have a child with maybe another on the way. My own house. A solid and stable career or job. But my 20s didn’t go as planned and here I am on my 30th birthday. Not quite thirty, flirty, and thriving (kudos if you know the movie reference). I’ve been beating myself up the past couple of years for not going further, but I’ve learned that I am still in God’s plan. And I need to give myself grace and forgiveness (and live in the grace of God) for the plans that never happened and the mistakes I’ve made. Just because I’m not where I thought I would be doesn’t mean I’m defective. It doesn’t mean I’m out of the running. It doesn’t mean I won’t get there. As God’s child, I am in His arms and I will be where I’m supposed to be in His time and through His ways.

And there you have 20 things I learned in my 20s. I wonder what I’ll learn in my 30s. I can’t believe I’m in my 30s.