When people prayed for me, they usually include the husband request. Which I’m great with. I believe in the power of prayer and I want to get married. So please don’t stop. But nobody ever prayed for my single life…not that I know of, anyway. And it wasn’t until the last few years that I started to pray for my single life.
My own prayers started as mostly husband requests before becoming general use-my-life petitions. There was nothing wrong with those prayers, especially the ones asking God to use my life. I even preferred them over to use-my-single-life prayers because I didn’t like making the distinction. It wasn’t because being single was a pain, but because it didn’t matter if I was single or married, I just wanted God to use my life.
More recently, though, I started using the distinction and my prayers changed. Here are some ways you, too, can pray for your single life.
Repeat the promises of God.
I used to always ask God to be with me. I begged Him for comfort and peace in my single life because I had this uneasiness that I would never marry and would always be alone. My gut would shake in fear that my faith would fall flat.
Why is it that the simplest promises of God take longer to sink in? He promises to always be with us, to never leave us or forsake us. God doesn’t just give us peace, He is Peace. He is Jehovah-Jireh, Provider. He is our Good Father.
I’ve read His promises in the Bible and wrote down His words for me delivered through other people and devotion times. They started to sink in and stick around when I repeated them to God when I prayed. I admit, at first it was to remind God of what He’s promised me because it eased my fears. Maybe if He remembered, He would make them come true. As if He’d forget, right?!?
The Word of God, though, is alive and has a funny way of affecting our faith. Declaring His promises and repeating the words He whispered to my heart didn’t change God’s plan or character (He is unchanging). They changed me. They drove the fear and doubts away. They gave me confidence in the faithfulness of God, and also taught me that even if I stayed single forever, I am loved beyond measure.
“During this single life, teach me…”
When I realized the I could really grow during my single life, I asked God for specific lessons. I prayed to God that during my single life, He would teach me:
- to be a good friend
- to have a healthy relationship with my finances
- to let go
- to be gracious
- to be open
- to move in peaceful confidence
I asked for them in the context of being single. Teach me now, God, so I may be Your light to the people around me today and to those I would meet in the future. The surprising thing about asking God to teach us is He teaches more than we asked for about things we didn’t even know we needed to learn. Sometimes, the lessons are hard. At times, they’re eye-opening. All the time, they change our hearts.
“Use my single life….”
This was the prayer I tried to avoid because we ought to be careful of what we ask for or offer up to God 🙂 Seriously, though. Have you ever prayed, “Lord, use my testimony,” and He calls you to share the testimony you’d rather keep a secret instead of the one you’re ready to share?
One of my “use my single life” prayers was my time. It was a tiny, innocent prayer telling God that I want to use the time I have before marriage and kids to make an impact. I was even a little selfish about it, telling God I wanted to matter, to leave a legacy. I was not ready for the tugging of heart strings that He’s now doing in my life.
That’s the thing about raising our hands like Isaiah and saying, “Here I am! Send me!” God takes us up on it, but He also creates in us the desire to serve or give or go. He will also create the way. So along with this prayer, petition the Holy Spirit to go before you.
Pray for him.
Praying for my future spouse wasn’t new, but the prayers changed. Instead of asking God to send me such and such kind of man, I just prayed for the man. That God will protect him and lead him, anoint him and comfort him, and remind him that he is loved.
I prayed for him without consequence to me, like I didn’t matter in his life, like we’d never meet. As I prayed for my single life and asked God to turn me into the woman He created, I realized that I wanted to stand as that woman. Single with the Lord because at the end of it all, we would all stand before God by ourselves. And I began to want the same thing for him and for other people: for them to be able to stand strong in their faith, to stand resolute in the person God created them to be.
God can use us in every season of our life. What I learned most about intentionally praying for my single life is how God opens my heart to love my single life. I no longer just want to get it over with and move onto the next season. I want to make the most of it.
Join me this month as I talk about loving your single life.
Tell me. Do you pray for your single life? Any prayer requests?
What about praying that you don’t fall in love at all because you want to be single all your life?