Every month, I’m taking a look back at the things I learned, loved, and lived through. I’m also looking forward to the next month. Here’s my look back at May 2016.
LEARNED
I meant to write a round-up post to my Mental Health Awareness posts last week, but it was finals week at school and I simply had no time, but now is good. One of the things I learned going through darkness, finding healing, and piecing my life back together is Grace. God is Grace and He gives grace. We need to live in Grace.
To forgive ourselves when we fall short. To accept the things we don’t think we deserve, like love and forgiveness. To believe God’s not waiting for us to get it together before He carries us in His arms or blesses us with His promises. That He is where we are, in the quagmire, in the filth, in the dark, in the hopeless and scary places of our souls. That when He promised never to leave or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6), He meant it.
He is there. God is not afraid to get dirty as He reaches out for His children, but we are. We’ve been taught and trained to see God in His glory and purity. To get right with Him before asking from Him.
But when you’re in the quicksand of depression, it’s hard to get out. It’s hard to get right with God. It’s hard to get clean. There were moments I thought the night was over. That I was healed. That I sighed in relief. Then some one tiny thing pushed me back in. When you’re in that cycle, how do you run to God?
Grace means God is already with me, and He’s okay with being in the dirt with me. Crazy, right? A pure and sinless God meeting us in the mess. But that’s what Jesus did, and we don’t need to have it together before coming to Him.
“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” Hebrews 4:16 (NIV).
It’s in our time of need we need God most, and He knows that. Do we? I learned to be okay with my brokenness. Embrace it and accept it. Like how admitting your addiction is the first step to recovery, admitting where I was was the first step to my recovery. Admitting and accepting that I was broken and needed help. Being okay with not being in an okay place. Realizing that I didn’t want to stay there. Reaching for God before I have myself together.
It’s hard to present to God and the world our broken selves, but it’s also when we need the most help. When we need the most grace. I think about the people in the Bible Jesus healed. The ones who shouted at Jesus for help. The woman who pushed through the crowds to touch the hem of His clothes. May we shout for help when we need it. At God. At a doctor. At friends and family. And if we see someone who needs help, may we be like the men who lowered their friend down from a roof. No judgement, just love. Nobody has to walk through the dark alone.
LOVED
In May, I read Gaps in Stone Walls by John Neufeld for my ASL 1 class. It’s a great read if you want to learn more about the Deaf community in Martha’s Vineyard in 1880, and if you want to read a book from the perspective of a Deaf protagonist.
I switched to this Honest Company Deodorant. My sister said I smelled herbal. I switched because my pores were getting clogged. This deodorant is not an anti-perspirant so it doesn’t clog pores. It contains witch hazel, patchouli, sandalwood, vetiver, medica, lemon, tea tree, roman chamomile, pot marigold, matricaria, and lavander oils. One day, I forgot to spritz it on. I panicked until I took a whiff and there was nothing to whiff. No odor! I don’t know if it’s the oils or a particularly dry day, but I liked what I did NOT smell!
Do you use natural products like this? What were your results?
LIVED THROUGH
Well I lived through school. It was more stressful than I imagined. I have another night class in the Fall, the one I need to graduate. I’m not looking forward to Fall night class. Way too cold, but that was the only time available.
I decluttered again this month, and donated a lot of things to Goodwill. I also added some things to my Vinted Shop. Decluttering made me realize how much art and DIY supplies I own!
I also bought 100 new identical slim hangers. It’s part of my system. I tried to adopt the “one in, one out” system where I take out (donate, sell, or throw) one item for every new item I buy. Except, I didn’t stick with it for long. So I added the hanger system. I’m stuck with 100 hangers and whatever closet space I have. I tend to buy dresses and they need to be hanged, so if I want to buy another dress, something’s going off a hanger. With that item, I have to either: find a place for it elsewhere, donate, sell, or throw it. It’s working for now!
Do you have a system for keeping your closet organized?
LOOKING FORWARD
Oh summer. This week hit 100 degrees. I’m back to using Cortizone-10 for my heat rash. But you know, it’s summer!
We have a Summer Family Night this Saturday at church. Our kids are also testing to move up a Sunday school class level or graduate out of the ministry. And we’re gearing up for VBS. Well…I am. I have to write the lessons and the activities. I know, it’s so late! VBS is in July and it’s going to be a 3-day Family VBS. There are logistics I need to figure out, but it’s going to be fun. It’s always fun 🙂
What are your summer plans?
