I don’t date. “The Dating Project” is a documentary that follows five single people figuring out how to date in today’s social media world and hookup culture. In the trailer, a woman says she’s “extra single.” Well then, I’m extra extra single. I’ve never been on a date. So why watch a movie on dating?
Curiosity got the better of me. I wanted to hear what different people had to say about dating. I wanted to know what the dating world looks like today. I wanted to be informed because 1) I’m nerdy like that and because 2) I talk about being single here in my little corner. I’ve also talked about my non-dating life a little bit.
That’s my choice. I made it when I was 18 or 19 years old, just before I went to a Christian college filled with guys who loved the Lord so much that they were pursuing a ministry career. *face palm*
Could you ask for a better dating pool? But I had a God-conversation moment, and being a Sunday school teacher meant I knew what happened to Jonah who tried to do his own thing instead of God’s thing. Plus, I loved God enough to also pursue a ministry career, and now I’m here. 33. Extra extra single.
And totally clueless to the dating world. In “The Dating Project,” however, I find out there isn’t much of a dating world anymore. Definitely not the images the word “date” evokes. When I was in 8th grade, I told a classmate I wasn’t allowed to “date” and she laughed at me and my word choice. It was old-fashioned and out…dated (see what I did there?). Apparently, it still is a word that nobody really uses anymore and a concept nobody really goes on anymore.
This was something Boston College philosophy professor Kerry Cronin found out, and the documentary highlights her Dating Assignment, which is available at www.thedatingprojectmovie.com. She’s known as the dating professor because she teaches students how to date and gives them two weeks to go on one.
Trust me when I say my heart plunged a little when the documentary talked about the Dating Assignment, and when Dr. Cronin and the director looked straight into the camera and excitedly exclaimed, “Go on a date!”
I…I don’t want to. Plus, one of the rules of the Dating Assignment is to go on a date with someone you’re interested in. I have noone at the moment.
But then Dr. Cronin said something so profoundly true. She said that not everyone is called to be with someone or to get married, but everyone is called to relationships.
We’re relational creatures. It’s how God designed us, and what I realized Dr. Cronin’s Dating Assignment primarily teaches us to do is figure out how to begin a basic, no-pressure connection with another person, which is something many of us have never learned how to do.
That’s one thing I walked away from the documentary with: learn how to connect. The second is this: figure out who you are. As a man in the documentary explains, we have a storefront of qualities we present to people (funny, smart, adventurous, etc.) but do we have them in stock? Are we really those things we say we are? Because we can’t make solid connections with other people if we don’t know who we are.
“The Dating Project” also talks about the hookup culture and how social media affects the way we meet other people. It seeks to clarify the ambiguity and confusion people feel is prevalent in dating, hooking up, and relationships. It’s eye-opening and actually encouraging because the dating world is not hopeless after all. There are people looking to #DateDifferently instead of buying into the hookup culture, and there are people who want meaningful relationships instead of one-night stands or superficial connections.
So what if you’re like me, intentionally not dating but still want to meet someone and get married? Aside from learning how to connect and figuring out who you are, I found other nuggets of wisdom in this documentary applicable to us like: live your life, make time for what you want, and work on yourself.
No, I won’t start dating. Not as it’s outlined in this documentary or the Dating Assignment. And if you see this movie – and you should – I hope you don’t feel pressured to start dating if that’s not what you want to do. But in living your best life, be open to connect with others. Whether it develops into a romantic relationship, a friendship, or new career venture, connect and move forward. And if you are dating, take the challenge to date differently! Redefine dating and may you find what you’re looking for.
