The One Big Answer to Loneliness

My sister and I visited Mark Pinto‘s exhibits “Joes Come Home” and “22 Joes Everyday.” The first exhibit uses digital photo prints of G.I. Joe dolls depicting issues facing Veterans, like homelessness, PTSD, divorce, traumatic brain injury, and suicide. The second exhibit is an installation of toy parachuted soldiers hanging from nooses. It depicts 22 veteran suicides that happen every day.

It’s chilling, I know. I also know that this seems off topic for this blog, especially since Thursdays is supposed to be about singleness. Bear with me.

One of the things that glared bright at me as I walked through that sea of parachutes and gazed at the photographs is loneliness.

Now that is something all we single people can relate to.

I recently heard someone say that intimacy with your spouse as not just physical. It’s being completely honest and raw with that person, sharing all of your deepest dreams and fears and hopes, and having the freedom to do all that because you know this person won’t leave you. Intimacy…marriage…is a picture of our intimacy and marriage, our relationship, with Christ.

And a deep arrow of loneliness pierced through my heart because I don’t have that person in my life (right now). But I do have my God, so it’s all good. Still, there is a deep level of loneliness that I’ve gone through because of having always been single and also because of having gone through depression.

Yet as dark as those years of mine were, I just can’t imagine the kind of loneliness our heroes might feel. How deep and devastating it must be that someone trained to be strong is driven to suicide or to finding solace in the bottom of a bottle.

One night, I stopped by Lucky’s to buy iced coffee before going to Bible study. At the door, a soldier was begging. My heart lurched at the sight of this young, strong man sitting on the pavement, reduced to begging after what he’s given up for us. I had no cash, but I bought him food. I gave it to him at the same time another woman did. She had no cash either, but it seems God used us both to bring him enough food to last a while. He cried.

I’m not telling you this to brag, but because it broke my heart.

Today we remember 9/11. Never have I ever been more aware of the people who serve this country both locally and globally than after those attacks. And it’s just not right for our police and firefighters to lose salary or pension or to receive so much hate from the people they promise to protect. And it’s just not right for our soldiers to come back home and receive no help. It breaks my heart.

We all feel lonely from time to time, but there are some people who go through another level of loneliness. It can be hard to tell who they are. We need to stop for a moment and simply observe. Who might be going through depression? Who might be at risk for self-harm? Who is burned out? Soldiers, police officers, and firefighters aren’t the only ones. Ministry leaders and workers are some. New mothers, too. Children going through a loved one’s death or their parents’ divorce. A friend. A neighbor. A sibling.

Take the time to notice. Or rather…

Love.

That’s the one big answer to loneliness.

Let’s just love on each other and ask God to use us to bring light to somebody’s darkness.

Linking up with The Single Life.