Define Your Home (#sggh)

When planning this series, I figured I need to do some due diligence and see what other people have advised us singles to do in the holidays. So I Googled different variations of “holiday activities for singles” and what came up made my heart sink.

Travel.

Oh I love to travel. I love seeing the world and the different cultures. I love seeing in person the landscapes I’ve only seen in photographs. I love walking around a city and discovering hidden gems.

But it’s just sad when the first ten or so pages of search results for “holiday activities for singles” are travel websites, deals, and destination ideas for singles for the holidays.

And you know what. It’s not a bad idea. It’s simply not the only idea.

But I’m going to get that out of the way. To travel during the holidays is a totally legit thing for singles to do. I would totally have fun doing that. I would love to experience Christmas around the world. How do other cities light up their streets? Do they also sell tons of candy canes and fruit cake, or do they have their own traditional Christmas food?

And for those who live far away from family, traveling home for the holidays is just what you do. You can probably give more advice about that than me. Where to find cheap flights. When to travel. What to pack.

You know what else is a totally legit thing for singles to do during the holidays?

Stay home.

Especially if you can’t afford to travel. Even if your family’s been driving you crazy for the entire year. Or if you’ve been going through some tough times and you just want to get away.

You can stay home.

There is something healing about being home, wherever home is for you.

That’s not something I would have said a few years ago. A few years ago, I couldn’t handle being in the same place all my life. I was angry all the time, depressed, burned out, and home was a little hard to find. It’s said that “home is where the heart is,” but my heart was a little lost. I thought if I could just get away, everything will be okay. But that’s not the case. No matter how far you go or how many countries you see, you’ll never be satisfied until home is defined.

Define your home. Where is home? Who is home? What does it look like?

My single friends, we have a home even if we don’t have our own families. We have a home even if we don’t have our own houses or apartments. We have a home even if there’s no significant other.

We only need to stop, look, and listen.

Stop for a moment. Look around. Listen to your heart.

That place where you can lounge around in your pajamas.

Those people with whom you feel safe with.

That community whose rhythm beats in tune with yours.

That’s home.

Define your home, and on the holidays, go there. Maybe you have to travel to get home. Or perhaps you need to stay where you are because you’re already home. Forget what’s expected of you and just be at home.

Warning, I’m about to raise up some stink.

How about, this year, you forget what’s expected of you. Or what you think is expected from you.

Like…this year, how about you do not decorate your entire house.

Do not attend the annual family gathering.

Do not divide your time traveling between two or three cities because you have family everywhere.

And for my married friends, are you ready for this? Do not visit your in-laws.

I know, I know. I’m being crazy. But how about this year, you just stay home. Wherever that is. Whoever it’s with. Whatever it looks like.

Maybe it looks like a lot of traveling, big parties, and seeing family and relatives everywhere. Or maybe it looks like a quiet Christmas morning with pajamas and cereal.

What, who, where is home for you? Be there.