Brave was my One Word for 2018 and honestly, I felt like Amy Adams in Justice League where Lois Lane told Clark Kent, “I wasn’t brave. You would’ve been disappointed in me.”
Last year, brave didn’t look like what I thought it would…what I wanted it to look like. I wanted brave new worlds and epic adventures. I wanted excitement and awe. Instead, I had to be brave with my health, and I didn’t feel brave. I was disappointed in myself.
A friend recently told me, “I feel like every time I saw your Instagram, you were in the hospital.” It felt like it. I wrote a recap of my health journey up until August. Then after two more blog posts, I was silent. I had to. There were things I had to face and deal with. Well, it’s a new year and I want to keep moving forward, so here’s what happened in my year of brave.
In the first half of 2018, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went on medications and had my blood drawn multiple times. In July, I was hospitalized with pyelonephritis, a severe and acute kidney infection. I was in the hospital for 7 days.
When I got out, I started seeing an endocrinologist, pricking my fingers to monitor my blood sugar, and going on different medications to get the right combination or dosage. My endocrinologist also put me on a medicine administered through an injection. Though it wasn’t insulin, it was still God’s “No” to my prayer that I wouldn’t have to inject myself.
After August, my primary doctor called me in. While I was in the hospital for kidney infection, they did a CT scan of my stomach. Upon further inspection, they found a cyst on my ovary.
It felt like a death blow, and I had to see more doctors and go to more clinics to do more tests and more scans. The doctors told me ovarian cysts were more common than people think. That gave some comfort, but all thoughts ran through my head. The loudest was, “What if this means I can’t have children one day?”
The day before Thanksgiving, I went in for surgery to remove the cyst. It was an outpatient procedure, so I went home the same day. Recovery took much longer, though.
When I saw the Ob-Gyn for the post-op follow-up, he told me that my bowel/intestine was attached to a muscle wall. It was highly unusual, and with Christmas coming up, I felt deflated that there was yet another health issue to face. But – since it’s never bothered me nor was it a result of trauma – there wasn’t really anything to do about it.
Oh, and the cyst was benign! Praise Almighty God!
And that closes 2018. That was my year of brave. It was a year dominated by health issues. A year that gave me a new perspective on what it means to be brave.
Here are other things that happened in 2018:
- I went on a free vacation to Vegas with my sister.
- We did our first ever Disney 1-hour Family VBS and it was included in the KidzMatter Magazine VBS issue.
- I was a contributing author in the books “Inspired: Unlocking Your Creativity” and “Lean In: Leverage Your Influence For Ministry Impact” by the Kidmin Nation Library.
- I read 30 books. My goal was 40, but it’s okay that I didn’t reach it. I still read more books than I did the previous year.
- I cooked posole and chicken paprikash. I had a goal to try a new recipe and I tried two.
- I got my 23andMe results, and then got an Updated 23andMe results! The biggest surprise…I’m part Sub-Saharan African!
- I wrote a Christmas play for church and I played an older woman.
What will this year bring? I don’t want to wonder and imagine. Last year brought great things and things I wish I could give back. This year, well…we’ll see.
