One of the tallest hurdles a single person goes through is loneliness. Like the old adage, “No man is an island,” people need other people. We need people to talk to, to sit in silence with, to laugh with or cry with, and even to hold (to hug, to pat on the shoulder, to give a high-five). We also need people to say our names.
I went through a time when I withdrew from everyone. At first I loved it because I’m a bona fide introvert. It gave me time for introspection. But there’s a difference between needing time for myself and cutting myself off from the world. I found out the hard way.
Loneliness is a constant liar. It says, “You are alone. Nobody understands you. Your family doesn’t care. Your friends don’t have time for you. You are not loved.”
And for us singles, there are more lies: you will always be alone, nobody wants to be with someone like you, you will never know what it’s like to wake up in the morning next to someone who loves you.
What? Too specific? Obviously, I heard those lies and it was hard not to let them affect me. And like another nail to the coffin, many people think the answer is to set me up with someone they know or give me dating advice. No, the answer is not changing my status and announcing it on Facebook.
The answer to loneliness is the Truth. (Tweet that!)
Whether you are single or not, loneliness happens. The answer is this. You. Are. Loved.
You are loved. Someone cares for you. Someone supports you. Someone understands you. Someone has time for you. And when it seems like that “someone” is missing in action, remember the Someone that will always love you and will always be there for you.
We can take comfort in the Truth of God’s Word. We can be assured that He keeps His promises. God loves you. He will never leave you. He is always there. It may sometimes feel like He’s gone, but take it from someone who was buried in the noise. He is always there for His children.
And there are people who love you, too. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that when the lies block our sight, when the stress is too much, when the worries overcrowd our minds, and when our hearts are hurt. But the truth is, you’re loved.
One of my biggest “If only” wishes is reaching out to someone when I needed help. Think about how busy you are and how easy you forget to tell your family and friends you love them. It’s the same way for other people. We all forget to reach out to the people around us, especially to the people closest to us. If only I reached out to someone when I needed help. If only someone reached out to me. Maybe I would remember how loved I was. If only we reach out to other people. Maybe they will remember they are loved.
I want to remind you that you are loved, and I want to encourage you to reach out to someone and remind them they are loved. And to my single friends, loneliness may be a tall hurdle, but we can soar above it on the wings of our God. Rest in the Truth of His love for you and the love of the people He has placed in your life. If you are desiring and believing for a spouse, then take comfort in knowing that God, who created you and know your inmost being, know the desires of your heart and will give you the future you hope for (Jeremiah 29:11, The Message).
Beuutifuly written Anna! I can really relate to the time in my life when I was separted and then divorced…it was the loneliest season for me. Although, that was when I found Jesus!!! Although now knowing if I could ever be loved by anyone else…it taught me God always loves me <3 Thanks for sharing your story!
Thank you truly for you words. They are beautiful.
Thanks for stopping by, Kimberly!
Anna, such lovely words. Thank you for the reminder, single or not, there is such open, raw truth here. I’m your neighbour at Holley Gerth.
Emma, thank you for stopping by and hello neighbor!