In the last post, I wrote about waiting. I was waiting for the biopsy results of an enlarged lymph node. People asked how I was doing, and I said I was okay. And I was. Of course I was concerned, but I knew the waiting had an end date. Eventually, the results would come.
Well, they came. The cancer that was in my thyroid spread into the lymph node. I will need another surgery. Before that, an MRI. After that, a radioactive iodine treatment to reduce the risk of cancer developing in other lymph nodes. This was not the answer I wanted.
I have a poster in my Sunday school room that’s divided in half. The left is labeled “Please” and underneath are sticky notes with prayer requests from the kids. The right is labeled “Thank You” and underneath are sticky notes that were previously on the left, but were moved because God answered them. But not all of His answers were yes. For some of those sticky notes, God said no.
The first time we moved a “no” sticky note to the right was for a please prayer for a child’s sister. She had cancer. We prayed for healing. God took her home. It was a heavy Sunday that I had to explain to vulnerable children that sometimes God says no, sometimes His yes looks different than what we imagined, and sometimes both things are true at the same time. God didn’t heal the sister on Earth like we wanted, but she’s healed, whole, and at peace in heaven.
The children understood faster than I thought. They learned to move sticky notes to the Thank You side whether God said yes or no. They accepted with childlike faith that God is good either way.
It’s a hard lesson on faith that even adults forget sometimes. It’s easy to trust God when the news is good. It’s more challenging when the news isn’t the one we wanted. Faith is trusting God either way. Faith is trusting God even when the answer hurts.
The answer God gave me was not the one I wanted. Even though I have clear next steps, this is not a path I happily walk on. And God is still good. God is still faithful. God is still my hope and my peace.
“Faith means being sure of the things we hope for. And faith means knowing that something is real even if we do not see it” Hebrews 11:1 (ICB).
My name is on one of those sticky notes under “Please” and one day, I’ll move it over to “Thank You” whatever the outcome. I taught the kids that God is good no matter what, and we thank Him for every answer. It’s my turn to live that, trusting that the God who has carried me this far will continue to carry me through whatever comes next.